Why Funeral Photography?

I spent a while doing the things most photographers do. I shot weddings, engagements, portraits, headshots and all that. It was fun, and I learned a lot. I realized that what really gets me excited is the connection between people. Then, I started getting tired of weddings, there's so much that is superficial, and there's a ton of stress as people want everything to be perfect from beginning to end. It just wasn't as appealing to me anymore.

For years now, I have always had my camera with me wherever I go. When I would attend a funeral for a family member or a friend's family member I would bring in my camera and ask them if they wanted to save anything like pictures of the flowers or the people that came. They would universally respond with, "Oh! I never even thought of that!! Yes, please." So, I would wander around taking pictures of the flowers and trying to catch the interactions between people. The smiles and laughter, the tears and hugs, a hand on a shoulder, a quiet moment near the casket. I wanted to save the moments that no one saw, and the uplifting atmosphere that is present at most funerals I've ever been to. Each time I would deliver the photos I would hear back from multiple people that they loved them, that the images helped them explain the loss to their children, or that someone who couldn't make it now had the chance to feel connected and have closure. It always made me smile to know I had helped a family preserve something meaningful.

Then in 2025 my wife's uncle passed away in February, and then my sister died in March. At the uncle's funeral I was able to act as photographer, but at my sisters I couldn't. I asked a few people to get pictures, but no one that isn't a photographer is going to be brave enough to get the shot when it means you might be standing up when everyone else is sitting down. And so, many moments I would have loved to have saved, were not. I couldn't really remember much of the day. I know that I saw people there, I know I got up and spoke, I know my uncle played my sister's favorite song on the piano and made everyone cry, but I don't have any pictures of it, and it's all fuzzy in my mind. It's a heavy day full of heavy emotions. I know there was laughing and crying, but our brains only remember the heavy feeling and we try to forget. But I don't want to forget the depth of feeling and how special that day was... I just don't have more than a few cell phone shots of the day.

That's when I really realized that this was important. I knew that I wanted to be able to look back at those moments and feel them again, but it's hard to recall. A photograph is like a sliver of time that has been captured, and it lets you go back and relive that moment. You might ask yourself at this point, "why would I want to relive a hard moment like that?" Well, I think most of us suppress our emotions and fail to really process the grief from loss. As with many difficult things, the only way out is through. If you bottle up the emotions and never really process them, they don't go away, and you never really heal. By taking the time that you need to really feel the grief, I think you have a better chance at healing and getting to a better place. Not everyone needs that, but what those people don't realize is that not everyone gets through things as quickly as they do.

Then my wife's stepbrother that everyone loves, passed away in April from pancreatic cancer. I knew I needed to save these moments. I approached the events with the perspective that I was actually saving moments I wished had been saved from my sister's funeral. After getting permission from the family closest to the deceased, namely the wife and kids, I went to work.

It's funny, when I say I prefer photographing funerals over weddings people say, "but aren't funerals sad and weddings fun?", and I just have to respond with weddings are fun, but funerals are deep and full and real. Besides, funerals are a lot more joyful than most people think or remember. Fond memories and funny stories are shared. Love and connection between people is not only visible, but it's tangible. When I photograph a funeral it's like I am getting to be carried by the swell of emotion being shared. It's people being purely human without presumptions or selfishness. It's absolutely beautiful.